By Rich Levin
About Being Human
Funny thing about most human beings all over the world, nearly every one of us feels more comfortable with people we believe are similar to us over people we perceive as different. When you are in a foreign country you are likely to feel affinity to people you meet from your home country. When in a group of people you will most likely feel affinity to the person who shares your religion or your occupation.
You can build greater relatedness, greater affinity by finding and demonstrating things in common, hobbies, interests, or backgrounds.
You make the other person more comfortable when you match speaking pace and mirror behavior.
These are the ways that spies infiltrate organizations, policeman build confidence with suspects, and top salespeople build rapport with clients.
Powerful Rapport
Perhaps the most powerful way to gain confidence and build rapport is to recognize then behave consistent with a person’s personality and behavior style.
Personality is perceived through your behavior and communication. If you are friendly and outgoing you will not need to adapt to easily build rapport with other outgoing people. But if they are quiet and introverted then you are going to need to consciously adapt to have rapport.
Therefore, if you can recognize another person’s behavior style and you know the way they would mostly like to be approached; then you adapt your behavior. You gain rapport more easily which leads to more trust, greater cooperation and ultimately a faster more committed agreement to list with you, purchase the property, trust your advice in a negotiation, and refer you to others.
Conflict
On the other hand conflict often occurs out of misunderstanding based on people’s different behavior and communication styles.
I’m sure this has happened to you. You are speaking clearly and making sense. Yet the other person doesn’t cooperate, doesn’t seem to trust your judgment or your advice. All too often this happens because you are communicating in a way that doesn’t match their style.
You can learn to recognize the other person’s style and adapt to it. You will create greater trust and cooperation by recognizing the other person’s behavior style; then adapting your behavior so they are more comfortable with you and more trusting of you and your advice.
Identifying Behavior Styles
Identifying behavior style is the first step. As you learn to recognize and identify behavior styles you will naturally learn how to best approach and communicate with each style. Then it is a small step to learn to adapt your behavior to achieve better relationships, avoid, prevent and resolve conflicts.
How do you recognize behavior styles? What are the characteristics that alert you?
There are many amateur ways to try to learn to do this. The professional way, the method used by top corporations, top Real Estate organizations, and the most successful salespeople is to use the researched, tested, and proven methods of a DISC assessment.
Identifying Behavior Styles
Many people have been exposed to abbreviated or corrupted versions of the actual DISC assessment. So, if you think you are familiar with DISC, please read on. (The following information is derived from my study of DISC, my certification and use of the tool and methodology with hundreds of clients.)
DISC is an abbreviation for the four basic personality styles.
The “D” of DISC is a Dominant person, results oriented style, quick to anger, and eager to fight back in conflict. High “D’s” are often quite successful but not always nice people. Does that sound like you or someone you know?
The “I” of DISC is an Influential relationship oriented person, friendly and optimistic who wants to move away from conflict. High “I’s” are fun but sometimes you question their sincerity. Does that bring someone to mind?
The “S” is a Stable Steady trust oriented person, emotionally more passive, yet strong and tolerant of conflict. High “S’s” are the strongest team members and excellent negotiators but they are not easily forthcoming with their thoughts and feelings. Do you recognize a high “S” in your life?
The “C” in DISC is the Conforming process oriented person, prone to fear and worry, watching for conflict and avoiding it. High “C’s” alert you to the potential dangers and drawbacks of your plans. They are excellent at implementation. But they can appear pessimistic. Perhaps you recognize that style in yourself or someone you know.
Not Quite That Easy
It is human nature to want to pigeon hole our self and others into one category, one style. It would be convenient and would make life easier if everyone were clearly one style. It’s just not true or accurate. Each of us is a combination of these four styles. In each style we rank on a continuum from virtually none of that style to that style fully dictating our behavior.
Some people are clearly dominant in one style. I am one of those. I am a high “D” Dominant, very focused and results oriented, quick to anger, and attracted by conflict, successful but not always nice.
Most people are a combination of styles. My wife is very strong in two styles. She is both a high Influential “I” and Stable “S”. Her Influential style leads her to be very people oriented but only after she takes time to decide if she trusts the person. That latter cautiousness is part of her Stable style.
When I hired my Administrative Assistant I purposely sought out someone who was strong in two styles. I wanted someone who was both a high Conforming “C” organized and systems oriented and also a high Dominant “D” focused on results. Certainly I wanted her resume’ to be strong and her skills to be what I required. In addition I wanted to be sure that her behavior style would work with mine and was well suited for the position she would fill.
The DISC Assessment Does It
The quickest and most effective way to learn to recognize the different styles and how to adapt to them is to obtain a full formal DISC assessment on you. At RichLevinDISC.com you can see a sample of a full DISC assessment.
A DISC assessment clearly and specifically identifies a person’s level of each of the behavior styles.
The DISC assessment is a questionnaire you complete online in about ten minutes. Within minutes you receive a full 22 to 26 page DISC assessment that details your behavior and communication style including your ‘Ideal Work Environment,’ ‘Do’s and Don’ts, of Communicating With You,’ ‘Keys to Motivating You,’ Areas for Improvement and more.
The first step in gaining the skill and insight into recognizing styles and adapting your behavior is understand your own DISC style.
It then becomes easy to apply your understanding to quickly learn about the characteristics of the other styles.
As you learn to recognize each style you learn to adapt your behavior and it becomes natural to develop connection and trust that leads you to greater success in your business and your personal relationships.
Common Question Answered
The question often asked is whether one style or another is more likely to be successful as a Real Estate Agent.
Statistically High Dominant “D” and High Influential “I” styles are higher performers in a sales environment including Real Estate.
However Stable Steady “S” styles are the strongest negotiators. And some of the most successful mega company owners are very high Conforming “C” style. So, each style can achieve exceptional status and results in specific positions throughout the Real Estate profession. As you more clearly understand your style you can choose the most successful direction for your career.
There’s More
This is the first in a series of articles to lead you to build the skills that will make you a much more powerful and successful communicator. In future articles you will receive detailed information on each style, how to recognize and adapt your behavior to each, which styles are more likely to be in conflict with each other and how to increase compatibility and many other subtleties of the styles.
All of this information and more is included in a 35 page manual “LEARNING and UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION, PERSONALITY, and BEHAVIOR STYLES,” that you can receive in addition to your DISC assessment. If you wish to order a DISC assessment for you and others and/or you would like a copy of the manual go to RichLevinDISC.com.
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You can contact Rich at Rich@RichLevin.com or 585-244-2700. Receive Rich’s Success Newsletter with the latest hot tips, scripts, top Agent interviews and strategies for your success at “RichLevinNews.com.”�